I had a long talk with my cousin today. His name is Scott and he is younger than me. Scott was born with Cerebral Palsy and has dealt with a disability his entire life. As a little boy, he was my buddy. I always felt sorry for him because you could see in his eyes that he wanted to go out and run and play with his twin brother but he couldn’t keep up. So, I would always play with Scott and try to keep him entertained. There were a few times I probably just about killed him trying to figure out ways to give him his own thrills. Once, he owned a little tiny red wheelchair and I started calling him “Jehu and his fiery chariot”.
I grew up, went to college and Scott grew up too. We have stayed in loose contact all of these years and any time we were together, we would bond once again. However, since I have become paralyzed, Scott and I belong to the same club. We have a tighter bond than we have ever had. Scott told me today that we were always close, but he feels so much closer to me now and I have to agree with him as my feelings reflect the same. We talk on the phone quite often and I always look forward to his calls.
Scott has a beautiful singing voice and loves music. He feels called of God to share about his disability in message and song. He has written several songs and I will include one about disability at the end of this article. He made a statement today though that really caught my ear. He was telling me about a sermon that he was preparing and he was talking about the verse “Be still and know that I am God.” He said “Alicia, we should learn from this. Those of us with disabilities should be among the first to do this because we know what it means to be still and be limited in our activity.”
I just can’t get that thought off of my mind this evening so I just had to write it and share. Scott is right. It is true. Who are the greatest prayer warriors? Those little shut-in’s that can’t do much more than sit up and breathe. Who are the ones who make a great impact on our lives? Those who have been stopped dead in their tracks and could only go on because of that still small voice. Who are the ones whose wisdom we long to hear? Those who have been to the darkest recesses and have found that even in the terrifying shadows, when we don’t dare move or whisper because of the fear, that God was there and comforted them.
Oh how my heart is convicted. It seems that I always have something to prove. Something to pursue. Something to permeate my thoughts and keep my mind busy so that I do not dwell on my problems. I need to stop and dwell on the stillness of my legs – not to brood in self-pity, but in a thankful heart for this gift of stillness that God has allowed me to have as a reminder to listen and to know that He is my God.
Dear God, help me to be still.
He Walks For Me
When I was a child I longed to play, with my friends and loved ones I wanted to stay,
But my mother said “No son you cannot go, for your body for them is much to slow”.
Oh mother can’t you see He walks for me, through the wind and the rain, He’s still the same,
He is my rock and fortress each day, dear mother, can’t you see He walks for me.
Over two thousand years my Savior died, much pain He bore when they pierced His side.
And my burdens were too heavy for me to bear, my Savior walked up, my cross He shared.
Oh friend can’t you see He walks for me, through the wind and the rain, He’s still the same.
He is my rock and fortress each day, oh friend, can’t you see He walks for me
If you have a need, He’ll walk for thee.