Today is my 4th anniversary of becoming paralyzed. In many ways, I still feel like such a newbie and other times it feels like forever. I love to call this my “happy to be alive day” because I know that I could have easily died and I did not. So, although this day can be bittersweet, I am thankful to be here.
As I am writing this, I am sitting in a hotel room in Illinois. My husband is preaching a Family Conference and the children and I have been singing each night and we are all serving the Lord together. Later on today, one of my dear friends Janie is coming over and we are spending the day together. In the past on this day, our family has just planned an activity away from the house to keep our minds on something else. But, today just feels normal and I like that.
I think that is my heart as I roll into year #4. Life is moving on and it feels normal. It has been a huge adjustment and there are days that it still is, but life is moving on. Our ministry has had to adjust, our marriage has had to adjust, our family has had to adjust, our work has had to adjust….it just feels like every single aspect of our life has gone through a remodel because of my paralysis, but life is moving on and is all feeling normal again.
There is SO much that I have learned through this journey. I have discovered things about myself that shamed me, I have discovered things about others that have disappointed me, I have discovered strengths that have amazed me, I have discovered help that encouraged me, and I have discovered God’s faithfulness through it all that absolutely astounds me. I don’t want to forget what I have learned and I want to keep learning! The Lord has been so very good and I realize each day how much I enjoy Him. I don’t want to just need Him – I want to enjoy our fellowship together. He is my best friend and I just want to live out His Gospel in my life and share it with others.
This year has a lot of exciting things in store. I am excited about disability ministry, but I have learned that I can’t forget that I am also disabled and must take care of my own spirit. So, I have some fun things in mind this year to help feed me so that I can be emotionally healthy to feed others. I am excited about life! I am looking forward to year #4….and to this very normal day.