Since I have become paralyzed, there have been many times I have asked the question, “Why?” Before you start telling me that we are not allowed to ask God why, let me remind you that as Jesus was hanging on the cross, He asked God why. So, it is not wrong to ask why. I have asked God why about many things.
As I was thinking recently about this, it hit me that why is a good question to ask. Yes, I ask the Lord why about my paralysis when a flash of the past hits me right in the gut, or maybe when I see a picture where I am standing up, or when others are doing something that I would really like to be involved in but am limited by my body, or when my children come and ask me questions about it that are hard to answer. These times can put me in a mood and I must be very careful where I let that mood take my mind.
When I get in this reflective mood, I have made it a practice to also stop and ask God a few more questions.
Why, God, why?
- Why did you allow me to be born in such a great nation?
- Why did you pick my parents and give me the heritage that I have?
- Why did you let me learn of you at such a young age?
- Why did I get to access to Your Word to guide my life?
- Why do I have pretty clothes, warm food, and a nice home to live in?
- Why did you bless me with my beautiful children?
- Why did you bless me with many wonderful children?
- Why did you give me such a good husband?
- Why did you create such a beautiful world for us to enjoy?
- Why, oh why, would you send Your Son to die for me?
- Why do you love me?
- Why would you take the time to think about me?
- Why do you give me chance after chance?
- Why are your mercies new for me each day?
- Why have you allowed me to live another day?
- Why do you delight in me?
- Why do you use broken people?
- Why did you favor me to be broken?
- Why would you want to use me?
- Why do you even want me at all?
- Why do You pour out your grace in my life?
- Why, God, would you become flesh to teach us how to live in our own flesh?
- Why would you suffer for me?
- Why can’t I then suffer some for You if it will bring You glory?
The questions continue to rattle off in my head, and my thoughts move from feeling sorry for myself to feeling sorry that I can’t do more for my Lord. By the time I am finished, my tears have changed from grief to clearing my vision for what lies ahead in my life. When the conversation stops, I have stopped dwelling on what I can’t do to being excited for what I can do for my Heavenly Father that I love so very much.
It is good to talk to the Lord and ask whatever our heart desires to ask. He can handle our tough questions, He delights in our wonderings, He loves to listen as we pour our hearts out to Him, and in the end, He loves it when we love back on Him. Asking why is a very good thing.