We are all thrilled with the news that Mendy is home! I have been giddy excited for her….and desperate to pray for her and all that she faces in her home. When you are in therapy, you are surrounded by those who are struggling like you and you are learning things…or trying to…every single day! Then…you go home. I would feel so victorious in therapy and pretty proud of my hard work….and then I would look around my home and feel so very defeated.
You are surrounded by all the familiar sights and sounds….but you are different. Everything is the same….like it has somehow frozen in time, and you feel like you viewing your territory in some sort of outside dimension. It is like those movies where the ghost is watching life and trying to talk but the people don’t hear anything. You see life happening, you see the scene play out and where your character used to have their part, but now there is a blankness in that spot as your character has completely changed roles and you are not sure where you fit in or what you are supposed to say or how you are supposed to act.
You feel like you want to belong in this thing called everyday life…but you don’t know how. It is an extremely overwhelming and emotional place to be. So what can be done to help now?
- Pray. Why is this always the first on the list? Because it is SO important. Satan loves to destroy and he sees a hurting and vulnerable family. He hates the family and he hates anyone who loves God, so he will be on their backs big time. He loves to take captive our minds because if he can defeat us there, he has a good foothold into our actions and lives. So pray for Mendy and the Lord’s protection for her mind from Satan’s thoughts that he would love to fill her head with. “Greater is He that is in us, than he that is in the world.” We have this promise and you can partner with her in specific prayer about this area.
- Encourage. Everything she is trying to do right now is discouraging. It takes a LOT of time in the beginning to do even the little that you can do. Everything is unbelievably hard and she is surrounded by the things that she cannot do. So, do not take this as a green card to “share in her sufferings” by dumping all your trouble to her. She doesn’t need that! If you talk to her, encourage! If you write her, encourage! If you do nothing but smile, then give it your all and encourage! Choose your words wisely, please do not give her tons of advice unless you know what you are talking about, and let her be a normal person as she does not feel that way, and just focus on being a blessing and encouragement.
- Give her space. There is much more going on in her life than just paralysis. The emotional side is many times just as bad as the physical problems. There will be days that she will spend crying…and she will not be able to really tell you why. There will be days she will feel angry and may be snappy…and she will feel awful about it. There will be days that she feels on top of the world….and will wonder why that couldn’t last every day! Give her the space that she needs to learn to deal with all of these emotions.
- Don’t judge her. There will be days that she doesn’t want to see anyone. There will be days that she will have to cancel plans because of private matters that she really doesn’t care to share with you. There will be a new schedule that she will have to live by. She will need more rest time. She is discovering her new role as wife and mom. There will be decisions that she will make in this new role that will be different from before. There will be much to discover as she tries to juggle new styles, new clothing, new habits…and entirely new way of life. Jesus came, not just to give us life, but to give us an abundant life. We are so thankful that Mendy is alive but she needs more than life. She needs to discover the things she has to do to give her a wonderful life. Do we really want less than that for her? Don’t judge anything she has to do. Love her and give her the space that she needs to live her every day life abundantly….spiritually, emotionally and physically.
I had many people in my life that were wonderful to me in these areas. I have had others in my life who have repeatedly broken my heart because they just don’t get it and their harshness feels like one more thing to deal with. Don’t be that person in Mendy’s life. Don’t make the Monday’s for Mendy just about praying for physical healing or movement. Make it a day to pray for her, encourage her with a note on her Facebook page (that takes all of 2 seconds but makes a huge difference in your day), be patient with her, and don’ judge anything she decides to do for the best of her health or family.
If you missed the going home video they posted, here is the link: