It is so wonderful to have couples from all over that share a disability in their marriage. This particular couple, Bruce and Norma Spero, are my northern friends! They call Canada their home and I already admire her for being able to live where it is cold!! She is much tougher than I am!
Norma and I met online through that same European forum I talked about before. She was a great encourager to me as a wife and mom, and we also bonded over the fact that we loved Jesus. She is a completely different personality than me…quiet and calm. She is comforting in that way. She is so solid about this life in a wheelchair and it is just a part of her. No drama. Just the fact it is.
I asked her specifically to share her story with you because I wanted you to hear her…not me. After you read her, you will see what I mean about her personality. I have never had the privilege to meet her in person….yet!! Her Bruce makes me think of my Jimmy and I just know we would all hit it off. I already love her and thank the Lord for her. We talk shop quite often and run a couple Facebook pages together for other paralyzed women. She is my friend….and I say that with a warmth in my heart and smile on my face.
Here is Norma:
I became a chair user after waking up from back surgery on January 23, 2008. I had experienced right leg and hip pain for a few years and after investigating, discovered that my T-10 disc was bulging and pressing against my spinal cord. I knew in my heart that this was going to be the outcome as I was already seeing drop foot and weakness in my leg.
I never really spoke with Bruce about my worries as I did not want him to worry as well. I was doing enough for both of us. There were many tears, disbelief and shock in those first few days….but then we decided this is life and we needed to get on with it! I was very fortunate to have a wonderful family, church family, and friends that rallied behind me and Bruce to help us, and support us and encourage us in those 2 weeks in Hospital and 8 weeks in rehab, and the many weeks that followed after I was home.
Bruce is a quiet, calm, easy going guy. He is not an open book about his thoughts and feelings. He is a “get it done” kind of guy. So he was getting things organized, renovation, purchased, installed, etc. His love language is Acts of service! I THANK him everyday for all that he does for me and our family. Even my kids had the attitudes “life goes on”. I’m sure they miss the way it was but have accepted this new life.
Our life/marriage is the same, we just have a chair with us everywhere we go now.I miss the get and go…now everything has to be planned. But we make the best of it….you HAVE to. This is our life and we are not done yet! Believe me when I say we/I have our moments, this is not perfect…attitude is everything. Everyday is a new day…this may not be the life that I expected but I’m going to make the most of it!
Bruce and I will be celebrating 22 years of marriage on the 5th of October. The vows we took 22 years ago are lived every day. We both did not realize at the time, that “in sickness and health” would be the hard one. Stats show that marriages have an 80% of failure when a spinal cord injury enters the marriage. We are more than ever determined not to be a statistic .
See why I love her? She is always like this. Norma, you and Bruce are a bright light in the dark side of disability. Thank you.
Will you help me wish them a happy anniversary? Leave them a comment either here or where it is posted on Facebook. Thank you for helping me bless this amazing couple!