There are seasons or circumstances that happen in our lives where we feel completely forsaken. We feel that those who love us the most don’t understand our deepest heart cries. We feel misunderstood, unfairly judged, criticized and analyzed. The things that are said and the conclusions that are drawn are the farthest from what we know is the truth. Your heart feels bruised, beat up on and crushed. You just feel so very forsaken.
Yesterday morning, I blogged about dealing with loneliness in the disability world. I received such heartfelt private messages all day long sharing with me the depths of this loneliness. It broke my heart for my fellow readers because I know the struggle they are facing. Yesterday evening, a circumstance happened that left me with such a deep feeling of being forsaken by people who have loved me. It had nothing to do with my disability. To be honest, it has thrown me into quite an emotional funk! I don’t like being in emotional funks. This “forsaken feeling” is deeper and more in the soul than loneliness in my disability has been. But I believe that both can be helped.
arguing discussing with my husband this morning and was being quite dramatic over something little. He does get on my nerves at times (I just know I never get one his)! In the midst of our big argument discussion he said something that I just had to think about. He said, “I know you are upset about last night but I think you need to direct this at someone else.” I asked him to leave the room and let me have some time alone. He was right. I needed to direct a someone else, and that someone is God. (No, I do not normally resolve my conflicts by reading my Bible – but I should!)
As I reviewed in my mind all that I know to be true about relationships and people and grace and love….I just couldn’t shake this deep soul ache of feeling so forsaken. And that is when I started thinking about Jesus. Oh how it comforts my soul to think of Him. I remembered how He was misjudged. He was accused. He was analyzed. He was even told that He worked under the power of Satan! He always had His Father to go and pray to and they had such sweet fellowship. And then….the day of His darkest hour and deepest suffering….as the sin of the world was on His back….even His Father turned His face away and could not look at sin. Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, why has THOU forsaken me?” You see, Jesus had already understood what it meant for others who did not love Him to forsake Him. But, for the One who loved Him to forsake Him? Jesus endured that suffering, because of His great love for us. It was the plan of God to redeem us! His horrific suffering took our place so that we would not have to suffer for eternity.
While I was feeling so forsaken by this loved one, Jesus came and wrapped His arms around me this morning and said, “I understand. I have been there and I get it.” But He didn’t stop there. You know what else He said? He said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) Once again, Jesus endured that suffering so that I wouldn’t have to. Jesus is the only one who has ever been forsaken by God, and it will never happen again because of Jesus enduring that for us. Not only did His suffering gain my eternity, it also gained my security in life. He knows my heart. He knows my motives. And even when they aren’t pure….He loves me and doesn’t forsake me anyway. Why does He love me so?
I have Jesus. I will never be unloved or forsaken. Those are the facts. Now, the question is, can I rest and find peace in those facts? Or do I stay in an emotional funk? I feel like Jesus is saying one more thing to me this morning. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Those are facts too. Jesus is here this morning. He is with me. He has not forsaken me. Can I rest in Him? He wants to take me by the hand and walk with me throughout this day. Will I go with Him?
Yes. Yes I will. With an offer like that, who can stay in a funk?