Since becoming paralyzed in 2009, the holidays are different for me. I see lights that need strung….and I can’t reach them. I see trees that need trimmed…and I can’t reach it. I see snow men and Christmas villages that need put out and I can’t reach them. I see outside decorations that need to light up my home, and guess what? Yes, I can’t reach them. There are parties that will be hosted that will take me 3 times as long to get everything done, and there are parties to attend that I am not sure if it is worth the drama of trying to figure out if I can even get in their house or if they have a bathroom I can use for the evening.
The holidays are a time of memories. Lots of memories! I do good with being paralyzed almost all the time, but at Christmas, my nostalgia also brings about memories of what it was like before the wheelchair. How easy it was!
A decision happens every year for me. I can either mope about the whole season, or I can get over it. I have a wonderful husband and six precious children who love Christmas time as much as I do. This is where perspective enters the scene.
“Do you see what I see?” she asks. “Do you see that your children love decorating that tree and putting every ornament just where they know you will like it? Do you see how hanging those lights thrilled your son so much that he also went and hung lights for another disabled friend? Do you see that snow men and Christmas villages are loved because they make you feel cozy and happy? Does it really matter who puts it up as long as it glows every evening on top of your piano? If your friends come to your parties and have a good time, does it really matter how long it takes to help spread joy? If your friends want you at their homes, then you are no drama to them. They want you, and you are worrying way more than they are!”
Every year, perspective comes and has this conversation with me. She is a good friend. She leaves me shaking my head that I even felt moody in the first place!
I do see what she sees! I am so thankful to be alive! I am thankful to have a wonderful family that love to help me. I am thankful that God has given me the health to enjoy this season. I am thankful for this wonderful season to remember the greatest gift the world was ever given – Jesus!
My 13 year old son started talking yesterday about the year I became paralyzed. After we had reminisced for awhile, he said, “Mom, I know that was a rough year for you, but aren’t you glad for all the good things that have come out of it and in our lives since that time?”
“Yes, son. I am glad.”
Thank you perspective. You did it again. I see it.