Every year on this day, I have a list of resolutions that i want to work on. The end of the old year and the beginning of a new year is sort a clean slate time. Wipe out the old year and start with a fresh pallet. Something is different this year.
I started thinking the other day about “my list.” I had a problem. I couldn’t think of one! I could just redo last years because there are still several things that are on there that didn’t happen! But, I’m not real concerned about that. They will be there when I get there.
The last two years have been a whirlwind of goodbyes, hellos, 2 major moves to other states, sad family issues, meeting new people, new schools and jobs, children growing up and driving, taking care of family members, and on and on! It has been an absolutely terrifying, thrilling, scream-inducing, nail-biting, wonderful, wonderful ride. If this girl has learned anything, it is that life changes and we can’t always predict it. It will bring you your greatest heartaches and your greatest joys.
You know my motto:
“We cannot choose the path we are asked to travel, but we can choose to enjoy the ride!”
What a ride!
This year is different for me. This year, I feel settled. This year, I feel like I have come full circle. This year, I feel like things make sense. This year, I feel like God has made so many things clear to our family. This year, I feel like God has given me peace and guidance about some really painful emotional struggles with extended family. Because of all this, my list is going to be about things that I am NOT going to do this year.
I am not going to sweat the small stuff.
Much of life is not a major. There are majors, but most of the day to day is not. It is not worth my time or energy to get worked up over little things. I am not going to let pettiness rule my life.
I am not going to waste time.
Wasting time does not mean doing something every minute. It is not a waste of time to lay back and watch a movie with my kids. Wasting time means not being intentional with my time. I am not interested in living a life with no purpose or meaning. I will not waste the precious gift of life.
I am not going to assume I know everything.
You never know what people have gone through. Many times, the deepest wounds are those that cannot be talked about. I do not know everything. Only God does. I cannot love others like God does because I am not God. I cannot see their broken hearts, their deepest cries, or their circumstances. I can only look at my own heart and live in thankfulness for God’s love for me, and then pass that on to others. I do not know everything about others, but I know enough about me to approach others better.
I am not going focus on “what” I do.
Instead, my focus is going to be on “who.” There are a lot of what’s in our daily lives, but when it all boils down, we enjoy and remember the who’s. My precious family, my church family, my friends, my co-workers, my fellow SCI’s….these are the who’s in my life. My what’s will be centered around my who’s this year.
I am not going to worry about others opinions of me.
The last couple of years I have had my share of false accusations, misunderstandings, and hurt. But…I have also had my share of those who give me the benefit of the doubt and think the best and not the worst. I have come to a sweet peace that God always knows my heart. When my heart is rotten and I have messed up, I ask for forgiveness. When I know that isn’t the case, I cannot fret and worry as to how to get others to believe my motives. I have learned that it is impossible for me to change what others think of me. Some people like to think bad because they always think the worst of everyone. I am just one more on the list. Others treat people badly because there is something broke inside of them and until they fix that, they will take it out on everyone else. Ultimately I have learned, that I live for Christ and as a Christ-follower, I am to do good to those who despitefully use me. I will still be kind and reach out but I will answer to God and God alone. I cannot change others, but I can change my reaction to them.
I am not going to end this list.
I want to add to this list all year long. I will probably have resolutions again next year, but for this year, I am happy to skip what new things I am going to do, and focus on what I am not going to do.
I pray you have a wonderful 2015!