We recently had family pictures made. I have no problem with my wheelchair being in pictures. Some do and want it all hidden. It is a part of me and no big deal anymore. So, most of our pictures, I am right there with my family. But…the farm where we took the pictures at was so amazing as they had all of these props you were welcome to use. They had a beautiful couch and it was just asking for our family to include that couch in a picture. For that picture, I transferred onto the couch and my wheelchair is nowhere to be seen.
There is something that you need to know. I was totally feeling like I was falling the whole time!! The couch was old and lumpy and was not a smooth seat at all. I have very poor balance and am always propping myself to feel like I am not falling over! You can see how I am leaning into Jimmy. That was not just a pose. He was holding me up!
My wheelchair is custom built for my body to make me feel stable. When I am out of that chair…I am an expert on how to not fall over…well mostly! Subtle things like hunching over, leaning against a piece of furniture or a wall, keeping my hands on my legs, using my elbow to hold me in place…lots of little things that are just second nature now.
As I looked at these pictures, I thought about how much of our lives are posed. Especially in the days of social media, and how much we “stage” our pictures….it is easy to live our lives like this! We look so poised. So together. If you did not know me, I don’t think that you would ever guess from these pictures that I need a wheelchair to get from that couch to my van.
I am not against staging a beautiful photo, but I just don’t want my life to be staged. I want to be real. As I look at the beauty of my Christmas tree, I do remember that it is very artificial. It does not grow. It is not alive. It’s okay in a tree – but not so in life. We need to grow, to change, to know that we will fade and need to be pruned and fertilized.
I am thoroughly enjoying this Christmas season, but I don’t want to just stage a nativity – the story of Jesus – in my yard or home. I want to live it in my heart. I want it to be real in my daily life.
I want to run to Jesus like the shepherds.
I want to seek Him like the wise men.
I want to share Him with the world like Mary.
My prayer is that when I talk to others about the Christ of this Christmas, that they will know that I live for Him. That I love Him. That I serve Him. I pray they never have to wonder if I just put on a good show – if I am a talker but not a doer. I hope that others will know by my love for them, that I am so grateful for His love for me!
I do not want to “pose” as a Christian. I want to be real. Really needy. Really loved. Really blessed. All because of Jesus.
Happy Birthday Jesus! I love you!