Shine or Whine?

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I recently watched the movie Hidden Figures. Phenomenal. Go see it already!! It was an absolutely inspiring true story based on the lives of three black women who were faced with so much adversity, prejudice, and personal trials. (Check out review here.) I will not give this story away as you really just need to see it, but it has propelled this particular blog post into a subject that has bothered me for some time.

How do we handle things when life just isn’t going…or hasn’t gone our way?

There are so many things that can go wrong when you have a disability! Depending on your disability, the lists can vary in the details, but I assure you there will still be a list. Transportation is a huge issue for those who cannot drive. Although government agencies such as Vocational Rehabilitation are helpful training and finding jobs, employment is still an issue because it is hard to get to a job without transportation. HUD and Section 8 housing helps provide affordable housing solutions, but there are so few handicap accessible units that waiting lists can be as long as 5 years! Healthcare is unsure because we are not sure insurance will even help pay and we are not sure we can afford it. We are not sure we will get the same physical examination as others because we cannot get on the tables. We are constantly struggling to get medical equipment approved or to keep it working – whether that is a wheelchair, a van lift,  or a shower chair that decides to rust out! We are put on hold, shuffled to other departments and told 17 different answers to the same questions. And none of these things are even about our disability! UTI’s, spasms, pressure sores, nerve pain, unending fatigue, weakening bones, throbbing necks and shoulders, digestive issues, bowel and bladder issues (and accidents), swelling, spine curvatures….and on and on are secondary health complications that seem to constantly pop up. Those just cover my particular disability and not anyone else’s. This paragraph doesn’t even begin to touch on the emotional loneliness and segregation so many still feel or the financial hardships most live under.

All of these things have been uninvited intrusions to our lives. We didn’t ask for a disability. We didn’t ask for drama. We didn’t ask for problems and complications. We didn’t ask for lack of accessibility. However, they are ours.

Now what?

When you have been around for awhile in the disabled community, you quickly learn there are two kinds of people – those that shine and those that whine!

In the disability community, you see the “solution people” and then you see the ones who want to cry “FOUL!”over every single thing that upsets them.

You see those who have no incentive to do anything with their lives, and then you see those who press on with unbelievable odds against them.

You see those who take their frustrations out on everyone around them, and you see those who are gracious to humanity and their misunderstandings of our disabilities.

You see those whose lives and actions cry about their disabilities, and then you see those whose lives and actions shout their abilities!

Articles are written that offer guidance and help, and then there are articles that just help enrage feelings but offer no solutions.

Videos are posted and shared where we tell everyone what they are doing wrong, but offer no education and kindness as to how to do it right.

I feel that many times, those of us with disabilities, can develop a really big chip on our shoulder about the injustices around us. While I do not endorse injustice, I do not think this strengthens us. I think it segregates us even more if all we do is yell how unjust it all is! We are now not only viewed as disabled, we are viewed as a bunch of disabled babies.

If someone opens a door for me (which I am capable of doing), I smile and say thank you! I am kind before I am disabled. I don’t need to prove my independence by grunting at them. I know there are the fringe people out there that can smother and be extremely rude to those of us with disabilities. But that says more about them than it does me.

Speaking calmly and actually engaging change accomplishes much more than screaming how unfair life is and feeling accomplished that we know how to scream.

The inspiring part of the movie (that started this conversation) is that these women did not spend their days yelling, posting, and crying. They were confident, ingenious, and pro-active to find solutions to the very society that so desperately tried to hold them back. Let me tell you, society lost.

There are many things that need solutions for some real problems. My encouragement is to spend your time and energy looking for solutions instead of whining about them.

Let’s not whine. Let’s shine!

Do you have ideas already? I would love to hear about them!

 

 

 

My Changing Thoughts On Being A Mother

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All I wanted to be when I was a little girl was a mommy. I am so happy that the Lord chose to bless us with 6 beautiful children – three girls and three boys. My definition of “mother” involved the timeline that began with the newborn baby – where your life seems to revolve around feeding schedules, diaper changes and not enough sleep -to the day they walk out of your home to begin their own homes. However, I have come to believe that definition is not true.

We have heard the expression “once a mother, always a mother”, but do we believe that? I am an avid people watcher. I soak in their lives and I try to learn from it. Some times I learn what to do, and other times I learn what not to do! I have read many help books on parenting. I have read psychology books about personalities and how to deal with children. I have read about love languages and positive affirmation and discipline and correction and on and on and on! I have always been hungry for anything that will help me be a good mom and raise these kids right.

Cramming my head with all this stuff can really leaving me feeling dizzy!! Do I snuggle and cuddle while trying to build up their self-esteem, or do I discipline them while acting out tough love? Do I be their best buddy so we are open and communicating or do I just “be the parent” and tell them how it will be around here. Do I give them what they deserve or do I exercise grace? Do I…..? See what I mean? I think the answer to all of these questions is yes!

As my children are getting older, the definition of “mother” has changed for me. I thought it was loving them and keeping them alive until adulthood! I thought it was making sure their spiritual, emotional and physical needs were met. I thought it was delivering them successfully into adulthood. And, it is all those things. But it is much more than I used to think!

I have watched adults who are so upset at their kids and just rip them up on social media. When they are 3 they won’t know it, but when they are teenagers they will. This makes me pause and think once again. I watch teens who I know and love and I believe they love their parents, but there seems to be such a disconnect from their parents! So I pause and think again. I look at my kids and my mothering and I think, “Does it end when they grow up?” I know how I feel about my parents…as a middle-aged woman! Do I need them? Yes. Do they need me? Yes. So, if there is a disconnect, where and why did it happen? I look at my own children, who I love more than life itself, and I don’t want that to happen!

All of these thoughts, have brought me to my evolved belief system.

  • I believe I am not just raising kids, I am raising future adults.

To be adults, they must have the adult skills they need to face life. They have to do things they don’t want to do, they must have accountability, they must know that hard work and honesty is of vital importance.

So, yes, I must have tough love and at times tell them to quit their crying and do it even if it is hard. Yes, they need responsibilities and learn the good feeling you get with a job well done. They must not live with their feelings on their shirt sleeves. They must learn to go on in life regardless of what people say.

But they also need me to praise their accomplishments when they have worked hard. They need me to put an arm around them and teach them why these things are important for their future. They need to know that I am so happy with the grown ups they are becoming and that together, we will all get there. They must know who they are in Christ and it doesn’t matter what people say about you.

  • I believe I am not just raising adults, but I am raising future friends.

Their future friends will be their spouses, their children, their co-workers, their fellow church members and many other people who cross their path in life.

To be a good friend, they must be kind. They must think of others above themselves. They must have thoughtfulness. They must have self-control, unselfishness, kindness, humility and strength.Those are character traits that must be taught for them to be a friend in life.

So, yes I must discipline them when they are mean or hateful. I must guard what feeds their hearts, because what goes in will come out. I must not allow uncaring words or actions.

But I must lead these sessions of life, not only in word but in my own deeds!! They must see me be a good friend. And how hypocritical if I were to be a good friend to all except my own children? That seems like a great crime! So, I must practice my friendship not only with others, but most especially with my children!  My children are my best friends, but they know who the boss is. I do not believe you have to choose “mom” or “friend.” I do not believe those words should ever be separated. Which leads to my next point.

  • I believe I am not only raising future friends, I am raising MY future friends!

There is no doubt that as our children get older, God puts in them an independence that is needed for them to grow out of our homes. That draw for independence, while still living in my home, can cause a lot of stress and arguments. Those arguments can lead to hard feelings and fellowship being broken between parents and kids. Do I want an argument with my child to start building walls between me and my future friends and the parents of my grandchildren? I don’t think so! So, the things that I do during those times will either try to break down those walls or will build it up higher. Side rant: this leads me to the social media bashing of our children. Please do not post your disagreements with your children! Maybe they do? Well, that just proves their immaturity. It doesn’t have to prove ours.

Because I want them to be my friends when they grow up, I want to make sure that I am doing my part to make that always happen. My children may grow up and make choices that I don’t like, but I will always like my children. My goodness, I wonder how many times growing up my kids don’t like the choices I make for them, but they still love their mom! I am so glad!

One thing I have learned as an adult child, is that I can be hurt more as a grown up, than I even was as a kid! Kids are very forgiving and tend to move on quickly. We adults don’t do that as easy. My feelings have been hurt more as an adult than they ever were as a kid! What does this mean? It means that the older I get, and the older my kids get, the more I want to make sure that I am showing them a mother’s love! Not just those wiggly babies, but those independent grown ups! They will need my love and care as much then as they ever have! Ask anyone who doesn’t have their parents in their lives anymore and they will agree with me.

These roads into their adulthood are being built now! I want to be part of the building crew and not demolition.

  • I believe that instead of worrying about failing, I just need to let them know I have failed…and will fail again.

This is reality. I will never be a perfect mom. I will never handle every situation correctly. I will never judge each argument fairly. I will never be in a good mood every day. I will never be patient and kind in every situation. And they won’t either. We need much grace and much forgiveness!

  • I believe that instead of worrying about “being” right, I need to “do” right.

 

I like to be right. Plain and simple. My kids do too because they have a big dose of their mother in them! But, we know that doing right is more important than being right. Doing right by apologizing, doing right by righting wrongs, doing right by making sure that no petty arguments ruin our relationships are much more important than being right about something that we won’t even remember years later.

My very wise Aunt Beth, who is the mother of 12 children, told me early on in motherhood to enjoy every stage! The older I get, the more I realize that I have not even stopped going through stages and my kids won’t either. The choice must be to enjoy them in every stage the rest of my life. Once a mother, always a mother? Absolutely! My roles may change and evolve at the different stages of their lives, and I know that I will have to adjust to those changes, but I need my kids and they need me. That makes me really happy.

What does this post have to do with Christmas, disability or anything else I typically write about? Not a single thing!! Just glad to be a mom today.

 

Red Birds…And Why I Love Them

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My Grandma Mary was one of the sweetest and godliest people I have ever known. She was not loud and vocal. She was a quiet little lady that loved to crochet and knit. My Grandpa Bob was the loud, bold, and boisterous world changer that always had an urgency about him to do the next thing. So much so that he could barely visit you before he was on to the next adventure! And there was my grandmother. Sweetly following him about everywhere he went with her Bible, crochet bag, and her little tidbits of wisdom that stuck to you like glue.

She would say things to me like, “Alicia, you must always learn to bloom where you are planted.” And she lived this as she lived in multiple states following her husband around in the ministry. She would also say, “Honey, don’t live through things twice. If it is going to happen, no need in wasting a lot of time worrying. That way, if it doesn’t happen, you haven’t wasted time worrying.” I know she struggled with worrying so I am sure this message had been preached to herself long before it reached me.

She also loved red birds. Her little kitchen always had them in it. Her curtains, the runner that went across the top of her deep freezer, and figurines of these birds always caught my eye. Grandma went home to be with the Lord years ago, and since then, every time I would see a red bird I would have a warm spot in my heart thinking of my Grandma Mary.

As my children were growing up, they learned that I had a love for these red birds. I would always call their attention to them. “Look kids! There is a red bird!” And so the children would start saying, “Momma!! Come look! There is a red bird!” It has been a sweet connection for us and my love for all birds…but especially red birds!

Not long after I had become paralyzed, I was having a particularly horrible day. Physically I felt awful. Emotionally I felt drained. Spiritually I felt betrayed. I decided that God forgot who I was, where I lived and that He did not care about me. I felt like every prayer I was praying just kind of floated around the room and God was not hearing…or answering them!  I was terribly discouraged.

From my bed, I could look out of one window. Out of that window you could see a dumpster that was located between our house and a neighboring furniture store. I thought how appropriate that dumpster matched my mood!

I prayed again. I said, “God, I feel like you don’t care about me anymore. I feel like you do not hear my prayers. I feel like you forgot where I live and who I am. PLEASE be real to me today!”

I kid you not, within 5 minutes I heard a bird singing. I looked at my window and sitting right on the window sill was a little red bird just singing its heart out! I KNEW God sent that little bird to me. That bird was God’s messenger that said,”Alicia, I not only know who you are and where you live, but I know where your bedroom window is!”

That was exactly what the Great Physician knew my heart needed. I still felt awful physically. I still had a LOT to deal with emotionally. But spiritually, my soul was fine!

That day taught me a lesson and also gave me a new intense love for birds. They truly are God’s messengers that greet me in the dark, early morning hours when I am in a tremendous amount of pain. They sing and remind me to sing my praises…even in the darkness. They catch my ear in waiting times when I am not able to engage in some activity that others are doing.  They remind me to take the alone time to sing out to my Creator and join them in rejoicing as part of His creation. They pull my mind back from the crevices of self-pity reminding me that God cares for the sparrows and how much more He cares for me.

This is my love for birds…and especially the red bird.

When you see my Facebook friends send me pictures of red birds, you know why. They have heard my story and now red birds bring them the same message. When you see a red bird, sing to the Lord and thank Him for sending you His messenger to let you know you are loved by a good God!

*A special thank you to those of you who have given me red bird items. Key chains, pictures, personal note cards, and many other items. These mean SO much to me and are daily reminders in my home of your love for me.

Where Have I Been? Sorry Blog!

I have not written in far too long! I have gotten my laptop out so many times to start some writing (because I LOVE writing) and then put it back up with a not finished piece. What is my deal? It has been an incredible summer and I will just update you along my journey and then we can get back to this blog business.

As many of you know, I love working with Joni and Friends Ministries and we help with the Ohio office. There is an office in Charlotte that I am now closer too in location, but we started working with this ministry when we still lived in Ohio and the team there are now part of our family and the drive is worth every mile to be with them!


We serve in two Family Retreats. A Family Retreat is a week of camp where families with special needs get to come and get loved on. Every single one of them. It is a life changing week and we love every second of it. So in June, we serve out week one. Leadership comes in early (on Friday), STM’s (short term missionaries who volunteer to serve these families) come on Sunday, and all the families come on Monday. It is an amazing week. Did I say that already? So, in June, the kids and I took off and drove to Ohio for 8 days.


We left camp on Friday and literally drove straight to TN making it just in time for my beautiful niece’s wedding. Cool story – she married the son of my youth leaders when I was growing up. Don’t ask them for stories about me okay?  Mariah is my oldest niece and Caleb is a fine man! I am so proud of them both. It was a beautiful outdoor farm wedding.

A couple days after I got home, I headed to Washington DC for advocacy work with United Spinal. It has become a wonderful event to work towards change and also reunite with sweet friends. I was glad to have Jimmy along with me as my “caregiver” because I was exhausted from the week before.


In July, we went back to Ohio for our second Family Retreat week. We came in on Friday, and the kids and I had a cabin in the woods. I got eat up by bed bugs that night and had a pretty bad allergic reaction. I ended up in the ER needing steroids and antibiotics. Because of the bed bug issue at that location, we had to cancel the whole week of Family Retreat. It absolutely broke all of our hearts. We came back home very sad. But, the Lord comforted us and the families involved. I recovered fine from the bed bugs and none came home with us!
At the beginning of August, my Grandma Alladean was in a horrible car wreck that almost killed her. So, I made a couple trips to TN helping stay at the hospital and just trying to be there for her. She has recovered so much, but is still dealing with effects so please continue to pray for her.

We traded our Toyota van in for a new Ford Transit van that was modified with a wheelchair lift for me and a driver’s seat that turns and allows me easier transfers. It also gives my growing children more room to ride! This was a really big deal for me and it deserves it’s own post. However, it took them almost a month to modify our new van so I stayed home most of the month as I had nothing to drive!


September brought a missions trip for my Jimmy and Isaiah. We plan to have all of our children take a missions trip around 13 to help give them a greater vision for others and to enter their teen years with gratitude and a desire to serve others instead of selfishness and making their teen years all about them. Briley has been to Honduras, Caleb spent a week at Pacific Garden Mission in Chicago and Isaiah went to Brazil. While they were gone for over a week, the rest of the kids and I headed back to Ohio for a road trip. We spent a couple days with Mark and Stephanie Fowler in Tennessee and helped work on their church. We went to the Joni and Friends Fall Reunion to see friends we missed at week 2. We went back to West Union where Jimmy pastored and we lived for 10 years to stay with our friends Jamin and Joy Boyer who are doing a wonderful job in that ministry now. We spent Sunday afternoon at the Veteran’s home to see our sweet Bob Griffin and his wife and my “other mother” – Sue. I shared my testimony and God’s goodness and the kids and I sang. We enjoyed that so much! We had a wonderful time of fun with the Boyer’s before making our way back home to pick up our world travelers!




As soon as we had gotten home (literally we came home on Friday and in hospital on Saturday) our Audrey had an appendicitis and had to have immediate surgery. We thank the Lord she is recovering well!


Our church had Homecoming October 2, and so we had started a redecorating project in our church fellowship hall that I had headed up and also a remodeling project to make our restrooms in that building 100% handicap accessible. We took it from a 2 stall to a one room restroom. So, when we got back home from our trip, we had a deadline to get finished and so we worked like crazy to get that project finished. We literally hung up the last items Sunday morning before Sunday School on Homecoming Day! I believe everyone enjoyed all the updates and improvements and I know that I am sure thankful for an accessible restroom on the property. Not just for me – but as a practical welcome mat to all with disabilities that they are wanted and welcome at our church!

With Homecoming behind us, Hurricane Matthew was in front of us. I had bought a storage building earlier between some of these events to hold much of my bulky medical supplies. It was a kit that had been delivered on a pallet. It had been sitting in my back yard as I had not had time to hit that project yet. But, with the hurricane coming, I was worried about the wind and rain destroying my lumber so we hit that hard and heavy this week and got it put together. My children all had a part in helping. But Jimmy and the boys really came through and helped me with things I could not reach. Although I kept asking them how to figure out how to put me on the roof so I could shingle! I never could convince them! The girls helped outside too, but they were amazing to keep the house running while I lived outside for 3 days.


So, add in all the kids getting eye, teeth and body check-ups, all of their birthday’s between June and September and daily life and church stuff….I think this should explain why I have slacked on my blog!

I have a couple more things in October and then I am hibernating all winter! Next weekend, I fly solo to Ohio for a Ladies Conference where I speak Friday and Saturday. I am VERY excited about that! Then the very next weekend, I have another Ladies Conference I am speaking at in Caldwell, NJ near New York City. So, we are all going as a family and turn it into a vacation. We are taking the kids to see New York City, Washington DC and Philadelphia. We are looking forward to seeing friends again and making new ones!

When I read how busy it has been, I can only thank God for His strength to accomplish it all.

I have missed writing. I have missed my readers. And I look forward to getting back to writing things that I pray are a help and blessing to you all!

Thank you so much for sharing my crazy journey with me!

 

 

 

 

When You Feel Really Lonely

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Ever been there? Like you have no one in the whole entire world to talk to or who may understand what you are feeling, or the motives of your heart and life? Maybe you have a loved one who you used to tell everything too and they are no longer a part of your life. Maybe you have a spouse who just seems to be on another planet from you right now! Maybe you have children who are moving on in their lives and you feel displaced. Maybe you are the pastor’s wife and give out a lot of counsel but you have no pastor’s wife to go get counsel from. Maybe you are facing a health crisis that no one else understands because they don’t have your health crisis. Maybe….maybe…maybe. I’m sure you can fill in anything I did not mention.

I have been in every single on of these situations!! 

I have read my fair share of how-to books to help me. How to improve your relationships. How to communicate with the man from Mars. How to help your children mature to adulthood and not fall apart. How to deal with every angle of ministry. How to have grace in our sufferings. How to…how to…how to. The books are helpful, but I have never found them to be enough.

Can I get real simple here?

In every one of these situations, when I am at my all-time low, when I literally feel the loneliness oozing out of my stomach, into my throat and pouring out my eyes. When I am in my bathroom or shower (my sanctuary of solitude) and heaving with an absolute broken heart, there is only one thing….just one thing…that brings me comfort.

I told you it was simple. It is Jesus.

When I cry to Him and say, “God, why does it seem you take and take from me? Relationships with family, dreams of that perfect marriage that has no cracks or flaws, children that I adore that I know will grow up and leave someday, people that you want to love and minister too that be can be so hard to understand at times, my health…why?”

I hear Jesus simply say, “I get it. I know what you are feeling. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I will never shun you. I will never break your heart. I know your motives. I know your dreams and fears. I know your worries. I won’t falsely accuse you because I am the Truth. I am always here with you and you are not alone.”

I just dwell on that. I may not be able to pick up a phone and share my heart. I may not be able to get anyone on my planet to understand me (I am complicated!). I may not have good health the rest of my life. But I have Jesus and therefore, I am not alone.

Loneliness can feel so awful, but truly, if it drops us straight in the comforting arms of Jesus, it is not a bad thing. Even that, is working in our lives for good.

Maybe you are in a season of loneliness right now. Turn to Jesus. Oh what a friend He is!

Please enjoy one of my favorite songs:

 

Advocacy Made Simple


I am a simple country girl. I love simple things. I love sunshine and rainbows, baby giggles and dimples, pretty flowers and birds singing, crazy kids and cute animals, HGTV and Food Network, chocolate and herbal tea. Just simple pleasures.

When you get in the world of advocacy, it is easy to speak of what we know – our life with a disability!! But, many times, disability advocacy involves a lot of complicated things. Writing or sponsoring bills is complicated. Speaking to our representatives can feel overwhelming and intimidating. Being the only voice many times to make change can be lonely and feel non-rewarding.

Advocating can be personal like telling the manager that the bathroom door is hung wrong or that the handicap parking is being abused. It can be local as we advocate for broken sidewalks to be fixed or bus lifts to be maintenanced. Or it can be national as we work with legislation that deals with decisions that will affect all people with disabilities.

Entering the world of advocacy does not need to be complicated. So, let’s break some things down and let me give you some tips to help get you busy!

How To Get Your Head In the Game:

  • Remember that disability issues, on any level, affect us. When they do affect us negatively, we will not like it and will complain! We have NO right to complain, if we are not willing to be a voice to help make a change.
  • Remember that your voice for change does not only affect you. You are representing a large demographic of people who have disabilities. Have the courage to speak not just for yourself but for others as well.
  • Don’t get discouraged if you do not see immediate results. We are reaping today the results of advocacy 25 years ago. Our voices today may not see the change we want immediately, but it will help shape the future.
  • Our lives have value. We are not asking for special favors. We are asking for equal favors. We are just talking to people – just like us. Even those who hold high offices are just people. We must appeal as a human to another human.

Advocacy Tips:

  • Speak nice.

It is so easy to get frustrated and want results, but rudeness or being harsh will only turn them off to our message. We must say the right thing the right way. Being confident and passionate does not mean being cocky and pushy. Keep the balance.

  • Speak plainly.

Make our requests very simple. We do not have to explain a million reasons. Be clear with what the issue is, and offer a solution. They do not live in our world so do not leave them hanging how to fix it. I was recently in Washington DC and they had a very nice accessible bathroom except the door to the handicap stall was hung where it swung into the stall which prevented me from being able to close the door. I asked for the head of that department, told them how nice there restroom was and how I appreciated the electronic doors (speaking nice), informed them that I was not able to use their restroom because the door was hung wrong and all that needed to be done was for maintenance to hang it the opposite direction. I thanked them and a work order was issued and completed that same day. If I had only called and complained, they may not have even understood what needed to be changed. Give them a solution and not just a problem.

  • Speak their language.

The truth is that unless they have a disability or a very close family member or friend that has a disability, they will not understand our language. When we are trying to convey our message to them, we must get into their world and create scenarios they will understand so that they will understand our world. 

For example, while advocating for a state parenting bill, I looked at their physical features and asked if they would be okay if someone took their children because of their freckles…or black hair…or mustache…or the glasses they wore. Immediately they answer, “NO!!” Now I know I have them. I then explain that people with disabilities can abuse their children, but children should be taken because of abuse – not a disability. They understand that.

In Washington DC, we were working on several issues and I would give them scenarios to help them understand what we were talking about.

For the bill that asks Congress to protect our access to our essential complex rehab components, I asked them what would happen if the DC metro shut down for a day or two. They would look shocked and say it would be awful! They knew right then that their bread and butter would be shut down also. I made a point to continue that logic and that it would greatly affect their work. I shared that this is what happens when we do not have the accessories that are needed to keep our lives going.

For the bill that asks for a separate category for our complex rehab technology to be recognized under Medicare, I asked them to pretend that they were in an accident and lost their leg. Then, I told them that I would take them to the room where 10-year-old boy legs were kept and asked them to pick the one they wanted. They told me that a 10 year old boy leg would not work for them. I stated that was true because it cannot be a one-size-fits all with something so unique and custom to the human body. I went on to explain that is what our complex wheelchairs are to us – custom prosthetics that fit our unique body needs and we need it to be pulled away from a one-size-fits-all umbrella.

For the appeal to protect urological supplies from being included in the competitive bidding process, I would briefly describe that just as my unique chair replaces my legs, my individual catheter needs replace my bladder. I then told them about a catheter that costs $1.75 each and if you pee 4-5 times a day that equals $5,000 a year. I asked if that is what they pay to pee each year? Of course, they are shocked and agreed that is not right.

In the past, I have used their house, their shoes, their cars….anything I can think of that they would be greatly diminished if they lost it as my examples that they can feel right then in the moment. I could say, “imagine if you were paralyzed…” but the truth is, they cannot imagine that. There is no way they will make that connection in their mind unless they have experienced it. So, I have to take something that they do currently feel and understand and take that from them. Now they feel it.

I would talk about the budget and I knew that it came to the bottom dollar, but when your budget decisions cause people to suffer, than are you really working for the people?

Word pictures and thinking of examples to help them feel our fears and frustrations is extremely helpful in getting them to receive our message.

  • Speak something!!

Any advocacy, at any level, is better than none! We are selfish to say nothing. We owe it to one another, and for those who are not able to speak, to advocate. There is ALWAYS something to be done. You can start small, you can start with a friend, you can start with an organization like United Spinal, or you can go solo and pick one issue at a time. But, start somewhere!

I hope this all makes advocacy seem a little less scary and that you will see that advocacy will open doors of opportunity for you, bring changes that will help many others, and helps with healing as it brings value to the path we have been given to travel.

Go get ‘em!

*Please share your advocacy thoughts and ideas in the comments!

Me Before You…Is NOT Disabled Friendly.

The previews are awesome. Finally…another beautiful story of love with a person with a disability! But don’t be fooled! 

Please watch my opinion of this story. It is a strong one that I make no apology for. I will be running videos through this blog, as they are shared with me, to show you the positive side of what it means to all live boldly…with those around us…for a realistic view of our wonderful lives with disabilities.

Check back as I post videos of others like me!