I know. Weird title but I don’t know how else to label this post. As I write this morning, I am packing up my house to move. I thought I would just share this journey and how the Lord has worked in my heart in the past few months.
It started in February. My husband came to me and told me that He felt the Lord was finished with us at our church here in Ohio and that he was going to resign the church. I asked, “Where are we going?” He said, “I don’t know.” I asked, “Is there another church?” He said, “No.” I said, “How are we going to live?” He said, “I don’t know honey. I know this is what the Lord wants and so we are just going to have to trust Him.” I thought, “He is crazy!!”
I cried. Every day for two weeks I cried. This girl is NOT a crier! I didn’t want to leave the people here that we love, I didn’t want to leave the community I love, I didn’t want to leave my wheelchair support group that I started and love, I didn’t want to leave my house…..you know, the one that we have worked so hard on and is finally 100% accessible and meets all my disability needs. I told my husband that I would not argue with him or try to hold him back, and that I would follow him, but just to please make sure he knew. I told him that I felt like he had shot me out of a cannon and I didn’t know where to land! Jimmy was very good to talk to me and reassure me about some things and I knew that he was following the Lord.
During this time that I was so upset, I prayed and told the Lord that I felt like I should have this faith thing down by now. I have seen him turn my life upside down already and He has been faithful to take care of us, so why was I SO upset? I told the Lord that I would follow Jimmy, but to please work in my heart and help me to have the same peace and confidence that my husband had. And God did.
Through many different events, the Lord showed me that He truly was working even when I didn’t know it. I made a list of the positive things that could come from this move and made myself think about those things. We could not tell very many people at first so this was a very private thing between me and the Lord and He helped me so much. the night that Jimmy resigned the church, was a very emotional night for all involved. Everyone cried and hugged and wanted us to stay, but they also encouraged us to follow the Lord in our lives. Although it was a very emotional night for our church, I was thankful that they were not glad to see us leave! We are leaving this ministry the way we have always prayed we would leave should the Lord ever move us. We know that we are loved and we have friends in this ministry the Lord allowed us to serve in for almost 10 years. Last night, we voted in our friend and assistant pastor, Jamin Boyer, to be the next pastor. I am confident that he and Joy will do a wonderful job loving and serving this congregation. I will always cherish the people and our time at First Baptist Church in West Union.
Today as I write, I can truly say that the Lord has answered my request to work in my heart. I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do. I was reminded again that faith never “arrives”. Fear is the trigger that allows faith to be engaged and we can choose to worry and fret, or we can choose to just trust the Lord and “enjoy the ride”. We still do not know what our future holds. We do not have another church to pastor at this time and are praying that the Lord will open the doors to the one He wants us to minister in again. We have had to turn down several Sunday meetings because of not wanting to be away from our church too much, so we are going to be available now to be in other churches if the Lord opens those doors. We are open for week-end meetings with our family if anyone is interested in having us come.
We are going to live on a farm that Jimmy’s parents own near Jamestown, TN. I am looking forward to a summer of barefoot children, fishing in the pond, back-porch singing, evening campfires, and night-time start gazing. We will be closer to our families, so we will spend extra time with them. We have been going 150% since I became paralyzed and I feel that the Lord is just giving us a little time of respite to catch our breath and recharge us to get at it again! I am excited because I know that although I can feel fearful wondering how the bills will be paid, God is not anxious one little bit about it. He knows exactly what He is doing, and my faith glitch was exactly what I needed to remind me that comfort is not the call for the Christian…continual trust is!
Please pray for our family during this time of transition and that He will continue to use us every day of our lives!
Special Note: This summer, I will be focusing this blog on our life on the farm and how we are going to make it happen! I don’t have a clue, so I will just keep you on this journey with me. We will figure out wheelchairs and chickens! 🙂 Thank you so much for following along!
2 thoughts on “I Thought My Faith Should Be An A+ By Now”
Wow! Is Jimmy’s middle name “Abraham”? I love an adventure but I can see where this one is a little scary. Just hang on and enjoy the ride!
Am praying for you during this frighteningly exciting time!! much love Ruthie xxx